


Violet Skies

by jemtessa



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Raphael Doesn't Die, Aromantic, Aromantic Asexual Raphael Santiago, Asexual Character, Canon Aromantic Character, Canon Asexual Character, Demisexual Character, Demisexual Julian Blackthorn, Gen, Self-Discovery, Unlikely Friendships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 23:44:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15376017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jemtessa/pseuds/jemtessa
Summary: As Julian grows older a wall seems to loom between him and those around him, but he can’t figure out what it is. Only when an unlikely encounter with a downworlder does he find out that he is: 1) not broken and 2) not alone





	Violet Skies

**Author's Note:**

> companion fic to go with [this post](http://jamescarstairs.tumblr.com/post/175521536749/yall-we-couldve-had-an-amazing-interaction) I made a couple weeks ago. 
> 
> aka the interaction we deserved.

It was eerily hot, it was the type of hot weather that made Julian feel as if he was suffocating. He trudged down the stairs of the Institute, dressed in his usual black training gear. He had planned to train with Emma but they had some loud, unexpected guests. Alec Lightwood and his entourage had showed up outside of the door, which meant Julian had to put training on hold. Julian wasn’t too pleased, but Emma and his siblings on the other hand were ecstatic.

Within Alec’s entourage was his husband Magnus Bane, his _parabatai_ Jace Herondale, and someone Julian was unfamiliar with. But he could tell that he was a friend of Magnus’ whom wasn’t human anymore. A vampire. The vampire didn’t look much younger than Julian himself, his hair was jet black and curly his fringe almost covering his eyes. The way the vampire stood so confidently informed Julian that he must be a long time friend of Magnus Bane.

As vampires couldn’t walk on hallowed ground Julian suggested that they hold their meeting on the ground outside of the Sanctuary. Julian thought it would be too stuffy inside of the sanctuary and that way everyone would feel more comfortable.

Julian pushed his way out of the Sanctuary to where Alec, Magnus, Jace, and the vampire were waiting along with Emma, Cristina, and his siblings. The sound of the door closing behind Julian alerted the others of his presence, to which the mumbled conversations turned to silence.  
“I would have liked to speak with your uncle or Diana….” Alec admitted. Julian sighed, he understood where Alec was coming from, he was only a child in their eyes but even Alec had to deal with events that not even a normal shadowhunter would have to deal with.  
“I’m sorry but my uncle is too unwell for guests. As for Diana she had to leave for a moment, she will be back soon if you wish to wait for her. Or you could leave your message with me and I will pass it on,” Julian suggested sincerely. Part of him cringed he was using his “Head of the Institute” voice, which always made him feel like a fraud. He very much did run the Institute but he hated it all the same.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Emma gawking towards Jace. Ever since Emma became a skilled warrior she was often compared to Jace. She was known to be their generation’s Jace Herondale. Emma, for one, was known for her admiration towards Jace but the glimmer behind her eyes looked like something other than admiration.  
“It isn’t a serious matter I just wanted to relay a message to either on something they wanted to know as we were just passing through. Hence why my husband, Jace, and Raphael have come along. If the matter was more serious I would have come alone. Or my father would’ve come,” Alec explained, knocking Julian back into reality. It seemed Magnus had noticed the girls gawking at Jace as he began to chuckle to himself. Alec elbowed him in the side as if he was asking Magnus to act more mature. Julian found himself compelled to say something.  
“I’m sorry about them, they’re big fans,” he mumbled embarrassed. Alec let out a small laugh before looking between Magnus and Jace.  
“It’s nothing, I’m used to this,” he snickered. Alec turned to Jace signalling him and the rest of them to get ready to leave. Without even batting an eye Jace slowly made his way out of the Institute grounds, not even noticing that no one was following him.  
“He’s even more beautiful in person,” Emma giggled in Julian’s direction.  
“Em…” Julian grumbled as he rolled his eyes. Alec and Magnus laughed obviously hearing what Emma had said. Raphael remained silent and still as if he didn’t know how to react.  
“Come on, Jules. Even you have to admit that Jace is hot,” Emma said before turning to the others. “Right, guys?”

There was an awkward silence for a moment before it was broken by mumbles from his siblings.  
“No,” Julian said firmly. But what surprised him the most was that he wasn’t the only person who said it. The voice was unfamiliar, which could only mean one thing. Julian turned quickly to Raphael who had said something for the first time.  
“Really?!” Emma gasped. Julian’s gaze remained on Raphael’s as he tried to figure out how out of everyone it was only the two of them who had a sure and different answer. It was then that Julian noticed Raphael smirking at him, making Julian feel uneasy.  
“What are you smirking at, vampire?” Julian snapped, surprising Raphael.  
“Nothing,” Raphael said quickly, avoiding Julian’s gaze. Julian glared at him to answer him truthfully. “It’s just nice…”  
Julian blinked confused. What was nice? He was starting to not understand Raphael more with each passing minute.  
“It’s nice knowing I’m not alone,” Raphael whispered softly as if he was making sure only Julian heard him. Now Julian was completely lost, unsure on what to make of Raphael’s honesty… if that was what this was.  
“What do you mean?” Julian asked, crossing his arms agitated. Julian kept a close eye on Raphael he started to notice Raphael shutting in on himself, which seemed even more odd and confusing since it seemed like the polar opposite of his character. Raphael began to look around at the others as if he was trying to figure out whether or not he should answer.  
“It’s nothing,” he finally said. Was he trying to purposely infuriate Julian?  
“ALEC! Let’s go!” Jace bellowed from a far, finally noticing that he left alone. Julian jumped out of his skin, his heart began pounding faster for a moment. He was curious now about what Raphael actually meant.

Julian noticed Alec and Magnus getting ready to leave and out of impulse he grabbed Raphael’s arm pulling him back to prevent him from leaving.  
“Tell me,” Julian whispered sternly. His grip was burning against Raphael’s skin, he hadn’t meant to grab Raphael especially this tightly. But he had to know even if it killed him.  
“Not now,” he whispered, _not in front of everyone._  
Raphael was glaring at Julian’s hand, which was still wrapped around his arm. Julian quickly let go, the fire in Raphael’s eyes alerted Julian that he would have trouble if he did that again. Given that Raphael was friends with Magnus he thought it would be best not to cross him.

Alec and Magnus started to leave, making sure to say their goodbyes to all of them. Julian walked up closely past Raphael, before stopping just in front of him.  
“Meet me here after dark,” he mumbled. “You better not cross me, vampire. I’ll make sure you regret it if you do.”  
Raphael smiled, “Oh, I know. Everyone knows about you and your ruthless heart, Shadowhunter,” he said before walking off in the opposite direction

\--

Julian steadily made his way out of the institute, he snuck a dagger into his t-shirt sleeve just in case. He wasn’t sure if he could trust Raphael, even though he was a friend of Magnus Julian couldn’t be too careful.

As he stepped outside the wind sent a shiver down his spine. A storm was coming he could sense it. Out of the corner of his eye, under the light of the moon and the street light glimmering shades of purple, he noticed Raphael in the distance. He was definitely alone from what Julian could see, but still there was hesitation in his steps.

Once Julian met up with Raphael it was then he was certain they were alone. For now.  
“So what did you want to tell me that couldn’t be said in front of everyone else?” Julian asked. Raphael didn’t acknowledge him or even look at him, his eyes remained forward looking into the darkness in the distance.  
“Well… I thought you may also be asexual,” he muttered.  
“A… A… A what now?” Julian blinked.  
“Asexual,” Raphael repeated. Julian stared at him confused,  
“It’s when you experience little to no sexual attraction,” he explained. “Like me.”  
“Ah?”  
“When you said that you didn’t find Jace, and I quote, ‘hot’, which near enough every person who encounters him does. I thought maybe…. you might be,” he explained. Julian understood why he may have thought that but what Raphael was saying didn’t fit him perfectly.  
“But I definitely have an attraction to Emma,” he admitted, probably to the first person ever.  
“I see... But that doesn’t mean you cannot be asexual. There are many terms under the umbrella, one that you may fall under. You need to ask yourself was the attraction always there or did it develop as the bond between the two of you grew closer? When did you started to notice your attraction to her. And have you ever felt it towards someone, anyone, other than her,” Raphael said, sending Julian into another spiral of confusion. “I am sorry if this is insensitive of me to ask but they are questions you need to ask yourself.”

Julian slumped his head back and stared up at the sky, had he ever felt attraction before Emma? Not even slightly? Before he always had thought that the reason he never blinked twice at girls or even boys or people outside of the binary genders was because he was too busy managing and looking after his siblings and his uncle. But the more he thought of it the more he realised he hadn’t, when Emma had talked about boys and when she started showing interest in boys other than Julian, he didn’t have interest in anyone. He’d never even thought twice about it. His mind trailed back to Emma, as it always did, when did he actually realise his feelings for her were no longer platonic ones? As they grew closer his feelings for her adapted and changed shape, not into anything “more” or anything “better”, they had shaped into something _different._ Something still as beautiful and unique as before. Even as _parabatai_ the two of them, and even before, they were inseparable. He knew he’d always want to be by her side.  
“I don’t think so, no,” he finally said. “I think my feelings for her changed as we grew closer, I think.”  
“Interesting,” Raphael smiled.  
“But that can’t be anything right? That happens with everyone. It doesn’t make me…. asexual? It just makes me “normal”,” Julian spoke, air quoting around the word normal, more to himself rather than to Raphael.  
“I never said that it wasn’t anything,” Raphael smiled. Julian’s eyes met with Raphael’s for the first time, it was then he could see how sincere he was being.  
“So it _is_ something?” Julian asked curiously.  
“There’s a term under the asexual umbrella, there is also one similar under the aromantic one too, that describes what you just said to me,” Raphael stated. “Demisexual.”

The words flowed effortlessly out of Raphael’s mouth, the sound of it on his lips made Julian feel at ease. Was this what he was? There was comfort in it. It was as if Raphael had said ‘this is who you are’. Julian couldn’t understand how a mundane word could make himself feel so at peace.  
“Why are you telling me this?” Julian asked curiously, his mind still thinking about the word demisexual.  
“Because people start looking at you differently, and you begin to question if there’s something wrong with you. If I wasn’t a vampire I would be near enough 80 years old. 80 years, I didn’t know. 80 years there was an obvious difference between those around me and myself but I didn’t know why. Yes the words I may have given you are from the mundane world, but what is so bad about words that make us understand ourselves more?”  
Raphael’s words resonated with Julian, he had never truly understood why Shadowhunters were so set on their separation to the mundane world. How much harm could a word do? He didn’t have to tell anyone, not if he didn’t want too. If the label gave him comfort, made him feel whole and seen what was the harm in using it?

Part of Julian wanted to know how Raphael himself found out, especially after waiting so long but he felt that it would be impolite to ask. Raphael had done enough to even confide in him on everything that he had so far.  
“Thank you, Raphael,” he smiled, his heart settling and earlier events no longer playing on his mind.  
“It’s nothing, it is always nice to stumble upon unlikely friends. If that’s what you would like,” Raphael said curiously.  
“I would like that… to have someone who understands,” Julian smiled. For once it was the truth. Maybe a friendship could blossom between the two them, two people who found mutual ground even though being entirely different.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback/comments always appreciated either here or on my [tumblr](http://jamescarstairs.tumblr.com/ask)


End file.
